


Poison Love

by Elennare



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-21
Updated: 2012-02-21
Packaged: 2017-10-31 13:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elennare/pseuds/Elennare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus thinks about his reasons for not getting involved with Tonks. Inspired by the chorus of the song Poison, by Alice Cooper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poison Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written January 2009.

Outside, drops fell from dark clouds; rain, splashing on the ground, soaking everything, creating a bitter atmosphere of darkness, gloom, sorrow.

Inside, drops fell from amber eyes; bitter tears, rolling down a face prematurely lined, reflecting the pain of an impossible choice.

"Oh, my love, my love… what can I do? No matter what I choose, what I say, what I do… no matter what, I hurt you somehow."

 

_Earlier_

_  
_

"Why? Why, Remus?"

"You know why, Tonks. I'm too old for you, too poor..."

"You're not. I don't want to be kept in the lap of luxury..."

"Too dangerous."

"I don't care!"

"I know. But I do." Remus turned away, biting his lip to stop the words he wanted so much to say - You're right, it doesn't matter, we'll manage, I love you! – from bursting out. Controlling himself, he continued.

"I'm a werewolf, Tonks. Dangerous, hated, despised, feared... a monster." Talking faster, louder, so that she could not interrupt him, he spoke on, hating every word, but feeling – knowing – they had to be said.

"You deserve better than me, far better than an old, broken , werewolf. You deserve someone young and whole, someone who doesn't endanger your life with every full moon."

He turned back to face her, and she answered him, her voice wavering.

"But I don't want someone like that, Remus. I want you."

He could see her face now, see her eyes, and the look in them, the tears that threatened to overflow, were too much for him. With a broken whisper that might have been "goodbye", might have been "I'm sorry", might have simply been a wordless cry of anguish, he vanished.

 

_I wanna love you but I better not touch_

"There's nothing I want more than to love you, to tell you I love you, to say that we'll work it out, promise that we'll always be together, that nothing will ever come between us, but how can I? How can I promise you something that's a lie? What I am will always be a shadow between us, always there, always a danger... and if I should ever hurt you, how could I live with myself?"

_I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop_

"I want to hold you in my arms, hold you tight and keep you safe, but the best way to keep you safe is to go away, to always hold you at arm's length, never any closer, or I won't have the strength to separate myself from you. I can't risk it, can't risk even touching you, not when there's a monster inside me, a monster whose touch, whose bite, is worse than death."

_I wanna kiss you but I want it too much_

"I want so much... to kiss you, to hug you, to have a conversation that ends in laughter, not tears, just to be with you... I want  _you_ , my love, I want you so much... too much. Too much for your safety, too much to be near you without feeling an overwhelming longing to take back everything I've said, to sweep you into my arms, to beg you to marry me... but I can't, I know I can't, so I avoid you, avoid being alone with you... I have to, no matter how it hurts us both, because I want you so much."

_I wanna taste you but_ _**my** _ _lips are venomous poison_

"Oh, my love, can't you see? I love you, love you with all my being, but my love is dangerous, is perilous. To love me, to be with me, is to condemn yourself. My love is damnation, it would condemn you to suffering, despisal, hatred, pain… My love is like poison."

"And yet, I can't help it…"

"Dora, my darling, I love you."


End file.
